oldcassettesandcigarette:

I’m highly allergic to bananas, it’s a common fact in my house. Everybody takes precautions with where and how they handle and place bananas in the kitchen and of course my shithead of a grandmother just throws them on the table whilst touching every goddamn thing she possible can.

So now I can’t touch anything. Grandmothers are supposed to nice and bake you cookies. But not mine.

Watch out Sam, she might come home with strawberries laced with penicillin.

Bahaha.